Sunday Mornings At My House

This is the first thing I saw when I woke up on Sunday morning. It wasn't all that early. The lights were still off and both kids were quietly playing Minecraft.

ISO 5000 1/50 f/2.8

I don't know why this picture makes me giggle, but it does. I especially love her Monster High earphones.

They're only allowed to play on their computers during the weekend. So they try to get as much time in as possible before their friends come out to play.

With summer, their computer time will increase. They both, separately, needed to be reassured that we'll take their computers with us when we visit California. And then Seth attempted to convince me that he's now old enough to take his into his room. NO DICE, BUDDY.

I'm starting to think that they're way too addicted. But then, their father and I can't take the moral high ground. ;)

What I'd like to say to every person in their 20's:

Here’s the great thing about being in my thirties: I am who I am, and I embrace that. There’s very little that I’m afraid of (well, besides jumping out of an airplane, or something equally as insane). I’ve embraced me: my quirks, my idiosyncrasies, everything that makes me strange and wonderful.

I like me. 

I’m not ashamed. I don’t have regrets. I don’t wish a do-over, or want to be twenty again.

I’ve been thinking a lot about this since I watched the attached TED talk that has been rattling around the internet. It seems to have been embraced by the twenty set. After the third time it was posted in my feed on Facebook I decided I wanted to talk about it.



You see, it confused me.

Is this news? No. Well, perhaps.

It wasn’t news to me. I lived my twenties hyper-aware that each choice I made would affect my future. I quickly discarded potential mates and career opportunities. Not because I didn’t love them (it almost killed me to give up my career to follow my Marine), but because I knew there was a better path for me. One that I’d ultimately find more fulfilling.

And that has proved to be the case.

Though, to be fair, you do sacrifice. Things you want now become things you’ll pursue later. Because the now is taken up with life. That’s okay. It will eventually even out.

I was a bit ruthless when making these decisions. I would assume a lot of people didn’t understand my reasoning.

I didn’t waver. I knew what choices I needed to make. If it didn’t feel right, I changed direction.

Because you can in your twenties.

Find your passion. Travel. Explore. Pick up and move to another city. Start a new career if your job doesn’t make you excited. Most importantly: CHOOSE to live happy. Can you really afford to feel this miserable for decade upon decade? Because I promise, if you’re miserable now, that will never change.

Exploring may not take you anywhere. But that’s okay. It’s not about a destination; it’s about the journey.

Your twenties is a great time for that. You can make mistakes and correct them quickly. If you don’t make the mistakes you get in a cycle of nothing. And then a decade goes by, and then another. And then you’re my age and you’ve done absolutely nothing with your life.

And if you are in your thirties and feel this way, life isn’t over. Start now. For heaven sakes, stop making yourself and everyone around you miserable.

Live your passion. Live your dream. Successful people take chances. You get to choose who you want to be. Why are you giving your power away?

Go get it.

Countdown to SUMMER!

It's Friday! It's Friday!!!!

*doin' the Friday hula dance*

AND! Two weeks left till Summer vacation! Woooooo hooooo! I might be more excited than the kids.


SUMMER PLANS:

I'm super, duper looking forward to seeing my family this summer. My SIL gave birth to my new niece last month and I'm dying to see her. Plus, I want to squeeze and torment all my other nieces and nephews. Living so far away seriously blows sometimes.

... Six more months and I'll be living a 4 hour drive away...

I seriously need to book airline tickets. For some unfathomable reason I'm acting like it's a good idea to procrastinate. Steven's not going to be able to get off work much at all this summer, so the kids and I are going alone. The thought of spending all that time without him makes me sad.

Anyhoodle.

The kids have A LIST (those caps are necessary) of everything we need to see. I thought: Really? Then I realized they haven't visited in two years. I forget that I grew up there and they didn't.

WRITING:

I've actually been doing some. HA!

Funny thing, I was stuck for a long time. I don't know what my problem was. I knew the story, it wasn't that. I just was inside my head too much. Nagging, plaguing doubts.

Then I gave myself permission to start something new. I worked on it for a day. Wrote out the blurb and started outlining a bit.

AND THEN, BAM!

The other book wanted to be written.

*blink, blink*

Could I make up my mind? Because that would be nice, yo.

I started working on the first one again. I'm up to 20K. Not bad considering I was stuck at 13K for FOUR months. That means I almost doubled my word count in a few weeks. I'd like to get this first draft written pronto. I have a feeling that this one needs to simmer a while after that so that I can get a very clear idea of character motivations before I edit. I'm not sure my stakes are high enough yet.

But it will get there, never fear.


PICTURES:

I've been thinking a lot about Fine Art Photography and how I'd love to push myself to the next level of telling a story. I want to do a model shoot with costumes, lighting and a lot of oomph. I have a list describing my ideas, and it keeps growing. I wish I were craftier with sewing. Heh.

I also really, really want to experiment with Underwater Photography. I'd put off the idea because it wasn't going to happen here. Now that I'm going to move to Las Vegas (with a pool!!!), it's constantly on my mind. I spent an entire day obsessively researching camera housings.

Now I just need to get over my fear of submerging my camera.

Pictures this week:

Mother's Day 2013

I started writing this blog on Mother's Day 2005, so it's officially 8-years-old. That's a pretty long time to devote to something. It's been fun. Now I can say: Read my blog, it's lasted longer than a Hollywood marriage! 

Of course, I could have said the same thing after the first 75 days. :)

Yesterday morning I looked for a picture to post to Facebook of my mom and I alone. Sadly there aren't that many.

Dec 1977

I started thinking (as I always do, and promise to be better at) that I need to be proactive in handing the camera over to Steven so that I can get in pictures with the kids. I'm in hardly any.

I know this newfound determination won't last long, so I must strike while it's hot.

Before we went out for Mother's Day lunch yesterday I had Steven snap this one:

It was the best of the bunch with rolled eyes, and tongues sticking out. Oh, and tears, ALWAYS TEARS. This should explain why it's annoying to get in the pictures in the first place.

Then we went to lunch. WHICH. This is a horrible story, you guys. All of the places I wanted to eat didn't open till 5pm and I was starving. With the crazy Mother's Day lines we chose to go somewhere we'd never been before (and I never intend to go back): Old Chicago in North Little Rock.

Why am I calling them out like this? WELL. Not only was the service sub par, but something so mind-boggling happened I'm still in shock.

Seth ordered a calzone. When he cut into it (you know, after the 15 minutes of no silverware) he realized that they'd delivered the wrong one to him. We flagged down the waitress, who took the calzone from him.

>>> THIS IS THE CRAZY PART<<<

She went to the table where Seth's calzone had been delivered and took it out from under that kid. AND THEN CAME BACK TO OUR TABLE AND SERVED IT TO MY SON!!!!

*DEEP BREATH*

Isn't that a severe health code violation, or something? It was shocking. I still can't get over it.

Anyway, don't ever eat at that restaurant because the food handling is questionable. Gulp.

Burns Park

Yesterday, I went with my friend, Quinn, to Burns Park with the specific intention of photographing the covered bridge. Imagine the utter sickness I felt when I got home and realized that hours worth of  pictures weren't on the card.

I didn't have a single covered bridge picture. Or any macros. The ones I did have were from the very tail end of the day when we were talking more than shooting.

I had convinced myself yesterday that I'd somehow reformatted halfway through the day. And that may be true. I may have done exactly that.

But. I kept thinking, that's three steps. Did I really do that and not realize it?

And then it occurred to me that I had switched to a brand new SD card that morning. I couldn't remember formatting it before I started to use it. Sigh. So, yeah. Apparently, it took the card a while to kick in.

Either way, it's sad.

Now I have an excuse to go back, because I will photograph that bridge. Next time I'll take the kids with me so they can pose. They'll be thrilled, I'm sure.

Pioneer Day

The third graders at Bekah's school are celebrating Pioneer Day today. Or as Bekah refers to it: Little House On the Prairie Day. Because, you know, it's not really about the pioneers. In her head it's more about Laura Ingalls and the fashion.

Her teacher is making "pioneer stew." I assume it's going to be a lot like regular stew, just with a fancy name. Nevertheless, Bekah is amazed that she knows how too make such a thing. "Pioneer stew, mom. I bet it's amazing."

Uh, huh.

These kinds of things point out where I fail as a mom, and yet I don't intend to change. When Pioneer Day was announced Bekah had grand plans for an outfit. That girl expected me to pick up a pattern and sew her one.

*blink, blink*

SO NOT HAPPENING.

If this had been my sister (the next one in line), I swear to you, she probably would have sewed her kid an outfit. That leaves me equally awe inspired and horrified.

When Bekah realized that I wasn't going to sew her an outfit, she suggested we purchase one for her. I said, "From where? I'm pretty sure that Target doesn't carry pioneer wear."

That wasn't as amusing to her as it was to me.

She tried a different tactic. She asked her dad to help convince me to sew her a bonnet, at the very least. He burst out laughing. "Have you met your mother? That is not going to happen!"

I realize I sound like a mean mom. I promise I'm not! I helped her find something in her wardrobe that we could make look like it could possibly be from that time period-ish. Don't laugh, it's the best I could do.

AND I braided her hair this morning. Which only lead to another complication. Bekah insisted on ribbons. I could only find pink ribbon. Laura wears blue, and Mary wears pink. Oops.

She let out a long suffering sigh. "I'll just have to pretend it's the Sunday they were leaving for church and Ma messed up and switched the hair ribbons."

It's good of her to pretend that for me. ;)

When she left for the bus stop this morning I heard her mumble under her breath, "This outfit would look so much better with a bonnet."

50mm  1.4  1/250

Say What?

This week has been filled with win so far. My +life points are racking up all over the place. And look, three blog posts in a row! That's amazing.

I have a photoshoot this weekend. Which means: I needed to clean off my SD cards.

[BTW, I never did find that SD card and extra battery I lost. ZZZZZ. I really should order a backup, but I'm convinced as soon as I spend the $100 they'll turn up. Decisions, decisions.]

I grabbed this shot of Bekah yesterday. She was terribly frustrated with her brother.

35mm 1.4 1/80

When I picked up my camera I had that minute of, "Wait, what's going on." I'd forgotten (since it's been so stinking long since I've shot) that I'd put on my 35mm. I had felt like I never used it anymore. If I shot with a prime I was grabbing my 50mm or my 100mm. Or if I needed a wide angle I was grabbing my 24-70mm. So I put on my 35mm thinking: I'll keep this on for a few days and see what happens.

And promptly forgot about it.

When I put the camera up to my face, I was disoriented. LOL! I literally pulled it away to check the lens I had on. haha. Dumb.

ANYHOODLE.

I forgot how much I love this lens! It's kind of swoony.

Plus, I'm in love with the expression on her face. A lot of people ask me why I don't post more pictures of my kids smiling. Do I have them? Yes. But. Isn't this expression more interesting to look at? For me it is.

Real life, peeps.

Little Rock Zoo

The other day we needed to get out of the house. I suggested a day at the zoo. I wanted to walk and get some sunshine, and the kids wanted to see the animals = win/win.

I took my new camera with me. I wanted to make sure that I pointed out these pictures aren't with my 5d mkiii, but with a tiny point-and-shoot (fixed lens on MANUAL). I'm in love with this thing. It allows me to take control of the shot exactly how I would with my huge camera, all while being pocket sized. *swoon*

[To be fair: it's not exactly the same. There's a slight time delay which resulted in a number of undesirable shots. And the touch screen focus doesn't always nail the eye. But, for what it is... FABULOUS.]

It's not great for zoo pictures, though (being that my lens is a 22mm). But. It's not like I took any pictures of the animals anyway. As a matter of fact, this turned out to be my only animal shot:

:)

I have my own animals to keep track of. And while we were on an adventure I figured I might get the opportunity. Turns out not so much. Seth is really, REALLY good at knowing when I'm even considering pointing the camera in his direction.

We had a lot of fun! I might take them back this summer.

Monday Truth

I keep telling myself that I have to blog at some point, because really, this is getting pathetic.

So let's play 'truths' shall we?

AHEM.

TRUTH -- I have written several blog posts. They exist somewhere, in some random file on my laptop. I don't quite remember what they ramble about. And I'm sure no one cares. So... moving on.

TRUTH -- I have hundreds of pictures on my cameras (multiple) taken in the last few months. I have no idea what the pictures are of (there was a zoo trip, I think...). Beyond the random, I haven't picked up my camera all that often. This is sad.

TRUTH -- My monthly family portrait project? BUST. But I guess you already figured that out. Maybe I'll try again... Or not. hahaha

TRUTH -- I'm wondering how it could possibly be the last few days of April. MY. GOD. Where have I been? And what have I been doing?!?!

TRUTH -- I realized I only wrote 13K new words since January 1st. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?SERIOUSLY. I normally write that much in less than two weeks.

TRUTH -- It's time to start getting my rear in gear. Because. Well, because all these previous truths? They're embarrassing. So. Yeah.

TRUTH -- TODAY I KICKED ASS (and I even took a shower, if you want to add +10 points to my life score). This is a trend that will continue.

Yes, I said it: IT WILL CONTINUE.

TRUTH.

Dying Easter Eggs

Since I'm posting these pictures only a week after the fact, I feel like I should win some sort of prize, or something. Plus. Blogging two days in a row?! Go me! *pat myself on the back*

[But really, we all recognize that this is procrastination at its finest. Hee hee. Don't tell my mom because she's on my case.]

What can I say about these funky colors? SIGH. I will NOT miss this kitchen. This is what happens when you have tungsten light behind (yellow) and flash from the front (blue) without a gel (I KNOW I really need to buy one). And then add in really ugly wood, brick and wall color to bounce all those lights off of WITHOUT A NATURAL LIGHT SOURCE.

My next place is going to be purchased solely on how well it photographs. And I'm painting all my walls 18% grey so that I can achieve a perfect white balance. 

Sort of kidding, sort of not.

Okay, you got me, I'm really not kidding. hahaha. That is dedication to the craft, people!

Anyway, back to the subject...

The kids had a blast dying eggs. Though you couldn't tell from their faces. :) I keep thinking: Next year we can do this with the cousins! ALL of the cousins since the European set is moving home. Woot! EXCITED!

 

 

The Old Mill

I had to get out of the house today. There's only so much work a girl can do before she needs a little playtime. :)

I met up with my friend Quinn and we did a basic photography lesson followed by a practicum. I'm nothing if not a thorough teacher. -- Haha, really I'm not sure how good of a teacher I am since she was my first student. Time will tell.

We visited The Old Mill since (1) it was down the street from where we were, and (2) I had it on my "visit in Little Rock list." Considering I'm at T-minus eight months left (woo hoo, retirement!) I have to get on that list STAT! Ka-boom!

The Old Mill wasn't what I expected. I made it up in my mind to be so much more than it turned out to be. I drove by it twice before Quinn said, "Uh, I think this is it."

Afterwards we went to lunch and now my throat is sore from too much gabbing.

I guess I should work now. The sooner I get this done, the sooner I get back to blogging. That's more of a threat than a promise. ;)

Parenting With YouTube

The other day Seth started a conversation about lice. His friend told him the reason he was out of school was that he'd had lice and that he'd had a "treatment" to get rid of it.

I put treatment in quotes because that's exactly what Seth did, used air quotes.

Then he asked, "Is it true that there's a 'treatment' and what exactly is it?" Which lead to a discussion on carcinogenics verses natural remedies. LOL! I do so love my son.

At the end of the discussion I said, "Just as long as it's a bug that doesn't crawl up into your brain, you're all good."

Seth looked at me like I was an idiot. He rolled his eyes so far up his head I could only see white, and then said, "Real bugs don't live inside your body. Those are called viruses."

"No, really, there are bugs -- parasites -- that will live in your body."

"WHATEVER."

Now this became a crusade to make him believe me. I started naming off every disgusting parasite I could think of. "There's even a fly that will put its larva into your skin! And then it pops out like a huge zit!!!!"

That may have taken it too far because he said those taunting words: "Prove it."

Here's the point where I should have thought through what I was going to do next. But I didn't. haha.

I grabbed my iPad and pulled up a YouTube video of the botfly.


[This video is a doozy. It's a compilation of many infestations. Do NOT watch if you're squeamish. Fair warning!!!]






By the time I started the video Bekah stood beside us intent on watching it too. They made it approximately halfway through before they ran screaming from the room. LOL!!!

Later I recounted this to Steven who gave me that same 'are you an idiot?' look Seth had given  me earlier. "Great! They're afraid of going outside as it is. Now we'll never get them to leave the house."

Honestly? I think I did them a favor. They're afraid to go outside because of a wolf attack. This is WAY more likely to happen. If you have to worry about something, worry about what has the greater possibility. LMAO!

Thoughts On A Monday

Every day that I don't blog it becomes that much harder to write. ;)

I've been busy. And sick. And busy. Repeated because... BUSY. You know, normal life. But I thought the beginning of 2013 was going to be a little smoother.

Eh.

It's been three months since my mom's cancer diagnosis. Unfortunately the recent blood tests confirmed that she has the aggressive form of CLL (positive for Zap-70). She's been cheery in her outlook. I'm not sure if that's for our benefit, or what. She's juicing and talking about becoming a vegan. *grin*

I can't say that I've taken the news well.

My dad has his health issues too. He seems to take some sort of perverse joy in Instagraming his blood/iron transfusions. *blink*

Anyway. This changes my life in many ways.

My husband who loves his sugar (WAY TOO MUCH for his almost-40 body), was sitting in bed at 10pm or so swigging a Coke and eating peach rings. I sort of lost it. I told him that his body is going to shut down from all the crap he puts into it. I ended with, "And you're MY PERSON. I'm losing everyone and I can't lose you." Then I cried.

Yeah.

He was good about it. He always is. :)

I've also noticed that since that discussion his sugar habits have been hidden from me. LOL! I'm not naive to think they've stopped. He's just not giving me the opportunity to freak out again. Or maybe it was the threat I made to transition our family to veganism. haha.

We've also started talking about retirement. Honestly, I'm done with this lifestyle. I've given up way too many days/weeks/months/years to support a government who thinks nothing of cutting our funding when they can't meet a budget negotiation. It's not as if military members are the working class poor, or that they sacrifice their lives, families and autonomy... oh, wait, they do? Uh, huh. Yeah, so that's totally fair.

...Sorry, got off on a tangent...

What I meant to say is that retirement will be a blessing. I'm ready to be closer to home. There's only so much time and I don't want to waste any of it.

The Mean Pig

The other day Steven was watching Man Vs. Food and he yelled at me to come watch it with him. They were featuring The Mean Pig, a restaurant in our town. This is a place where he takes his students and they ALWAYS think they can do The Shut-Up Juice Challenge. Which inevitably ends up with several of them vomiting in the ditch outside.

Steven thinks it's hilarious.

I think it's dumb.

Anyway.

I couldn't help but to become fascinated at the stupidity of it all. "I have to go there now. Just to say that I went."

"You HATE BBQ."

"Yeah, but I don't have to eat anything. I mean, it's featured on a gross show and I live next to the place. I might as well see what it's like!"

Perhaps the man has been married to me way too long because he didn't laugh. Maybe a little eyebrow raise, but that was the extent of it. Then he nodded and said, "I'll work on that."

Fast-forward to last week.

One of the guys at Steven's work had his going away party there. Steven told me, "You said you wanted to eat there. Now's your chance!"

After extracting a promise that we could run through a drive-thru on the way home if it was way gross, I agreed.

Behold, the sandwich. This does not have Shut-Up Juice on it. I'm not stupid.

BBQ sandwiches around here are served with a glob of coleslaw on them. I know the South peeps are going to be like: OF, COURSE! How else would it be served?

Well. Let's just say this is not a Western-side of the United States kind of thing and leave it at that.

Also, can I say why BBQ and I don't get along? It's way too sweet. And people in the south they love their sugar. If my mouth puckers when I take a bite, I do not consider this a good thing.

The kids played it safe and got hot dogs. hahaha. 

The only green thing on their menu was a pickle. Bekah was so excited. She loves pickles.

You should note: everything in the restaurant is homemade. This pickle was swimming in straight-up vinegar. The lady handed it over in the baggie and the smell was so strong that my eyes started to water.

I said, "Good luck with that, Bekah"

"Why?" she asked.

"You'll see."

This was my reaction too. I'll let Steven continue to take his students there while I stay far, far away.